When being friends doesn’t actually mean being just friends

 

Sunday Currently, Vol.1

I don’t know what it is. Whether it is friendship, love, loyalty or martyrdom, but girls tend to stay with someone who can give them time and affection they needed. We easily fall for someone who makes us feel treasured. But at the end of the day, after pouring all the love that you can give, after gathering all the courage you can get to ask him what are you to him, he’ll drop the bomb by telling you that you are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

He’ll give you different reasons why you can’t be more than that. Either he’s not yet ready to commit, he cannot love you back like the way you love him or that “I don’t want to loose the friendship we have” thing. So cliché.

But what does being friends exactly mean? He’s telling you that you are just on that level of relationship but you both know that you are acting more than that. The way you look at each other. The way you miss each other when you are not together. The way you treat each other. The memories you’ve made. The plans you both have for the future. Anyone who can see you together can tell you that it is otherwise. You are so into each other or maybe, you are so into him, that you didn’t notice that you are the one on the loosing end.

Then time will come that you will question your self’s worth. Are you not pretty enough? Are you not fun to be with enough? Are you not witty enough? Are you not caring enough?  Are you not deserving enough? What is the one thing that is lacking from you that he can not consider you to be the one? Why is it okay for him to take the risks for other girls just to be with them? Why is he not brave enough to do it for you?

“Pangit ba ako? Kapalit-palit ba ako? Kasi kung oo ang sagot mo, teka lang, magkikilay muna ako.”- Erica del Rosario

But whose fault it will all boils down to? Is it on him, for making you feel hopeful that one day, things will go as what you have been expecting? For showing, or should I say pretending, that he cared for you so much, that you end up falling for him deeper? For not defining the clear line between you two even though you’ve given him all the hints that show how you really feel for him? Or is it because of you, who believed that if you just continue to care for him and make your world revolve around him, he will come to realize that he also feels the same way you do? That he’ll be sorry for being too late to reach that point? Is it because you misunderstood him that time when you were telling him about your past relationships, and he said that you deserve to get a better man? You thought that he wanted to be that guy. Is it you, for allowing him to destroy you while you were trying so hard to complete him? Maybe it’s you, because you didn’t love him enough to make him love you back.

Or is it safe to put the blame on both sides? Girls, do not jump into conclusions that fast. Do not interpret all the things a guy does for you. You might actually misinterpret those. That you give special meaning even with the smallest thing they do. Dinalahan ka lang ng breakfast, may something na? Sabi nga, do not assume unless otherwise stated. As for the guys, if you want to treat someone special, make sure to define your true intentions. If you are a natural caring person, treat everyone special. Do not select a particular person. Do not pay extra attention onto someone that will lead her into confusion. A girl’s mind is so complex that it can run extra miles in advance. Let’s make this short and simple. Guys, wag kayong pa-fall. And girls, wag kayong feeling. Yan tayo eh. (peace out!)

No matter what, there is a thin line between friends and lovers, that we, especially girls, tend to cross. We let our feelings cloud our judgement. Friends won’t ask you to stay friends, even though he knew what you really feel, because they know that it will cause you more pain. They don’t hurt you the way he hurts you. Yes, you do love him, but make him realize that there’s a limit to that. If he’s asking for friendship, don’t give him more than that. And, make him stand with his decision not to go further than that, because every time he doesn’t, you loose.